The only rule about writing is, there are no rules.
Except for the rules.
But there are, no, rules.
And if you want to write, you’d better learn the rules.
Flippant?
Yeah, and true.
You won’t knock somebody’s socks off until you can put the passion and emotion that’s in your head and heart, onto a page. It’s got to be of you and you have to own it. It really doesn’t matter if you make someone sad, angry, happy, confused, excited, inspired - as long as you make your reader have some kind of response. I don’t mean at the end of the book and I don’t mean at the beginning of the book, I mean every word of the book must get a response.
That’s one of the rules.
Except there are no rules.
So, what are you 10 years old, and you’ve just read Lord of the Rings, or, no, Hetty Feather, Harry Potter, maybe some Marvel or Star Wars: maybe a Japanese comic - and you felt the magic?
Or 65 and you have waited your entire life to get that SF or Romance (or both) story off your chest?
Doesn’t matter. Same thing. You still want to go from zero to 70 mph (or more) in 3 seconds.
And you can’t - because of the damn rules.
Except, there are no rules.
So do it.
Here’s my tuppence-worth. Because if you do some or all of these things, you’ll get there faster.
1. Are you inspired to write?
That’s a rule isn’t it - nope.
If you wait to be inspired you’ll never write anything.
- But I don’t have any ideas and I’m not in the zone I need to be to produce my best work.
Rubbish.
You are capable of writing a certain number of words in the rest of your life. Some of them will be incredible, most of them will be terrible, but the sooner you get on with it, the sooner you will write the incredible ones.
If you wait until you’re inspired…
Look at it another way, do you have or have you had a job? And what did you do? What did you tell your boss? I can’t do any filing today, I’m not inspired? I can’t bring people their food I’m not inspired. I can’t write incredible code I’m not inspired?
But writing or anything creative is different?
It’s not.
Well it is.
But it’s not.
Your first job as a writer is to figure out how to write at any time.
(I know, there are fifty first jobs as a writer)
Any time: when you’re on your lunch break, when your kids are in the swimming pool, when you’re waiting in the queue at the post office.
If you can read a book there, you can write. In fact, one thing to start this happening - is to try reading at those times instead.
- But I’m too tired.
Well go to sleep earlier. Or write later. Or nap. Do whatever it takes.
- How can I just write if I’m not inspired?
If you don’t have a story, then you need to get one. You will hear other writers saying - if you don’t have a story, you’re not a writer. Or, ideas are cheap, I have a zillion. And there’s some truth in that. But it’s not a rule. There are no rules. If you don’t have them now, and you want to write then, you have to do something about that.
So we’ll leave inspiration and writing when not inspired for now and move onto…
2. IDEAS
Can you write without ideas?
Yes you can. Illogical captain? Nope. It’a white page - fill it with something. Doesn’t matter. That’s what imagination is for. Right now you may think yours is rubbish but, if you’ve read a book in your life, I can tell you it isn’t.
It’s called “pantsing”. Though strictly, pantsing at the very least starts with something but it doesn’t have to. If you want to open a new project in your writing app of choice (or an email if you’re standing in a queue), and write about a woman who crashes her ship on a far distant planet, and decide that she’s being chased and has to run from her ship and hide, except they catch her and she has to fight one of them, grab his gun and kill the others, because she’s a ninja, but she needs… then go for it.
Of course you’ll run out of steam, read it back and say - OMG, that is terrible, I’m not a writer, I’ll never be a writer.
Except writing a terrible first paragraph, page, chapter, book - is normal. It’s one of the rules. You’re supposed to. And you’re supposed to rewrite it and then put it in a drawer and forget it until you’re fifteenth published novel - then you’ll rediscover it and realise it was gold dust, you just - weren’t - very - good - yet!
Then you’ll find things change for you. You wrote a paragraph, chapter, story, book, and you’re overwhelmed. Great. It’s a good thing to know that you accomplished this, but that isn’t what changed.
The thing you wrote is still inside you. You can’t see it, but your characters are thinking all the time and they want to do things. As you walk to the shops, you see a man cleaning a window and you think - what happens if he falls off, I wonder if he has his phone, would anyone notice. When you overhear someone at the bus stop saying - of course it’s the kids I feel sorry for… every little thing you read, watch, listen to, encounter, slowly starts to feed that pantsing brain. You don’t even know you’re doing it, but you have changed forever.
And it gets worse.
Or maybe you do realise it and you want to tell someone because you’re so excited? My advice is not to bother. That’s one of the rules. They aren’t interested and they will depress you. Except there are no rules.
Which brings me to:
3. SUPPORT
Sorry but 99.9% of people you know or you meet will put your off writing. It is their duty to stop you wasting your life and go learn how to tile roofs (rooves?) or something.
What can you do about it? You’re bursting to tell people. You love the endorphins you get every time you think about the awesome things you want to write and the fun you have writing them.
Well, I’m sorry - but you can’t.
Well, you can, but you’ll regret it.
For the rest of your life you are playing a psychological game with yourself and everyone you know. You could write the next Harry Potter and someone somewhere will think you’re rubbish and wasting your time. The negativity you will get from other people will just confirm what you already know - you’ll never write anything good so why bother. You’re a fraud. You don’t deserve good things and everyone is right about you.
Rubbish.
None of those people know what they’re talking about.
I’ll tell you who does know what they’re talking about - #WritingCommunity on Twitter.
I don’t want to encourage this because it will lead you to part 4 - Procrastination, but they really do know what they’re talking about. And they will support you. They’ll also give you great links that you can learn from.
Same on Facebook - get a writing account and find other writers. You’ll learn all the rules that don’t exist. Except they do.
And you will procrastinate.
But all those other people - friends, family, colleagues, people at bus stops - they don’t know anything about writing. EVEN if what they say is true - they still don’t and what they say doesn’t matter.
For example:
- 99 % of everyone writing today makes no money at it - true.
- 99 % of the 1% who do make money don’t make a living wage - true.
- 99% of the the 1% who do make a living wage, only make that for a couple of years of their life - true - I think.
Actually I made these up - because I don’t care.
Here’s some of mine.
- 99% of people who play golf today make no money at it. Actually it’s more than that. And they spent more money on their clubs than you did on Scrivener. Your laptop doesn’t count because you were going to buy that anyway.
- 99% of the 1% who do make money playing golf - don't exist - because nobody makes money playing golf. 10 people in the world make money playing golf.
So why the heck do people play golf?
I have no idea?
Maybe they enjoy it?
They once putted form 35 yards or hit a hole in one and they’ll spend the rest of their life trying to do it again - because it felt so damn good.
Well, so does writing.
It could be worse, you could enjoy fishing!
4. PROCRASTINATION
So, you’ve written your first paragraph and you’re officially a writer. You’re too exhausted now to write any more, so you go on Twitter to get some support from the #WritingCommunity. Suddenly it’s midnight and you’ll only get six hours sleep. Your next chance to write is the next evening, but you’re too tired because you stayed up late on Twitter. So you go on Twitter promising to have an early night. Suddenly it’s midnight and…
Mmm Hmm. Obvs.
But it’s true.
Cleaning the entire house is better than writing - isn’t it - nope.
But to the professional procrastinator, painting a fence is better.
Even writing a blog no-one will read about writing is better!
Except it’s not. You know it, I know it, so why aren’t you writing?
One of about a zillion “reasons” probably.
There’s no point in listing them all because, you’re a professional, and if I wrote them all and told you how none of them were reasons, you’d find others. I can’t win on this one.
Or can I?
Part of the psychological warfare you are now involved in, is learning the ability to write without thinking about it.
At any given time, if you have a moment to write, you’ll use it to go on your phone. You just will. While the internet is brilliant and you can learn all the rules that don’t exist AND get amazing support from #WritingCommunity, it’s also the biggest drain on time ever.
Even if you’re currently 10 years old, if you go on your phone, you’ll find you’re 65 in a moment and have achieved nothing - except 365,000 tweets and half a million likes. Put that one your gravestone - 35 Twitter friends liked some of your tweets.
How!? How can I stop going on my phone.
Well, you’re on your own there - because I don’t know. I spend 90% of the time I should be writing on my phone - why are you asking me? I should be on it now except I’m writing some rules apparently.
Dammit.
I can tell you some other things.
They won’t help, probably, but we’ll see won’t we.
You’re aim is to be in your writing app of choice - writing. Isn't it?
So why is it on your laptop, ipad, whatever, shutdown and in a different room?
Why aren’t you in that room and why isn’t it switched on?
How did your phone get in your hand and that game appear.
Why is the TV on and that awesome show…
Because you did all those things.
Yeah - it was you. Sorry, I’ve rained on your parade.
Therefore, your first aim is not to switch those things on, or open those games or twitter. Don’t do it. It’s naughty. Promise yourself anything and don’t do it. If somebody else did it - that's another blog. A very important blog. Really.
You’re allowed to go on Twitter or whatever, if you have written 1000 words. Or spent one hour writing. Or not until 10 pm.
Whatever, but if you have a routine at all - like coming home from work and putting a microwave meal in for you and you wife, kids, dog, then switch on your laptop and open your writing app instead, or first, and then go make dinner.
Leave your laptop beside you and pick it up after dinner.
- But I can’t write after dinner / in front of the TV / in the same room as… / with all that noise / when I’m not inspired.
OK.
But you also know you can solve these things. SOMETHING will work for you.
Look at youtube, I believe there is a video of Roald Dahl’s writing routine.
He had a little shed. He got his flask, wrapped himself in a scarf, and trapped himself in a chair with a table and could not escape until he had written some words. He did not think about anything else he just did it. Even if everything screamed at him - nooo, don’t do it, it hurts.
Routine.
What works.
FInd it.
5. IT HURTS
It’s supposed to. You’re physically taking a part of yourself and putting it on paper. That is surgery. Surgery hurts. Writers don’t even get an anasthetic. We are amazing people. That’s something else your friends, family etc don’t understand.
But it leads to procrastination because you remember that pain and will do ANYTHING to get out of it.
But your memory is wrong. And you have to correct it every second of every day.
Like cycling - what? Yeah!
It’s not the nicest of days, you’re tired, you can’t be bothered going into the shed to dust off your bike, you’ll probably have to pump your tyres up and…
Stop thinking about it and get on your bike. By the time you’re 4 miles down the cycle path, you'll have to cycle all the way home and you’ve doubled your exercise. You feel fantastic, what a view, your legs love you. Why on Earth did you not want to get on your bike?
Writing is the same. One thousand words in and you can’t wait to get on facebook and twitter to tell everyone how awesome you are (though you mustn’t, unless you can disguise it as something else). Your endorphins are flowing and writing is the best thing ever.
So why on Earth did you not want to write?
SUMMARY PART 1
See what I did, I called it part 1 and wrote the word summary. That way I can end this and stop procrastinating. Maybe I practice what I preach this time. Maybe.
And it’s a blog so I’ll re-write it sometime and call it writing and I promise to make it better and fill it with inspiration.
Oh yeah, I’d better summarise.
Emm:
- Learn to write anywhere.
- Learn to write anytime.
- Don’t talk to anyone about writing.
- Fool yourself into writing.
- Read if you can’t write
- Don’t go on Twitter until you have written
- Start observing and listening to everything and then write about them. Well, not about them, but you know…
- Win the psychological war and know there are solutions for everything.
- Learn all the rules that don’t exist, as soon as possible, so you can get on.
- Go for a cycle.
Was that it?
Write something.
Except for the rules.
But there are, no, rules.
And if you want to write, you’d better learn the rules.
Flippant?
Yeah, and true.
You won’t knock somebody’s socks off until you can put the passion and emotion that’s in your head and heart, onto a page. It’s got to be of you and you have to own it. It really doesn’t matter if you make someone sad, angry, happy, confused, excited, inspired - as long as you make your reader have some kind of response. I don’t mean at the end of the book and I don’t mean at the beginning of the book, I mean every word of the book must get a response.
That’s one of the rules.
Except there are no rules.
So, what are you 10 years old, and you’ve just read Lord of the Rings, or, no, Hetty Feather, Harry Potter, maybe some Marvel or Star Wars: maybe a Japanese comic - and you felt the magic?
Or 65 and you have waited your entire life to get that SF or Romance (or both) story off your chest?
Doesn’t matter. Same thing. You still want to go from zero to 70 mph (or more) in 3 seconds.
And you can’t - because of the damn rules.
Except, there are no rules.
So do it.
Here’s my tuppence-worth. Because if you do some or all of these things, you’ll get there faster.
1. Are you inspired to write?
That’s a rule isn’t it - nope.
If you wait to be inspired you’ll never write anything.
- But I don’t have any ideas and I’m not in the zone I need to be to produce my best work.
Rubbish.
You are capable of writing a certain number of words in the rest of your life. Some of them will be incredible, most of them will be terrible, but the sooner you get on with it, the sooner you will write the incredible ones.
If you wait until you’re inspired…
Look at it another way, do you have or have you had a job? And what did you do? What did you tell your boss? I can’t do any filing today, I’m not inspired? I can’t bring people their food I’m not inspired. I can’t write incredible code I’m not inspired?
But writing or anything creative is different?
It’s not.
Well it is.
But it’s not.
Your first job as a writer is to figure out how to write at any time.
(I know, there are fifty first jobs as a writer)
Any time: when you’re on your lunch break, when your kids are in the swimming pool, when you’re waiting in the queue at the post office.
If you can read a book there, you can write. In fact, one thing to start this happening - is to try reading at those times instead.
- But I’m too tired.
Well go to sleep earlier. Or write later. Or nap. Do whatever it takes.
- How can I just write if I’m not inspired?
If you don’t have a story, then you need to get one. You will hear other writers saying - if you don’t have a story, you’re not a writer. Or, ideas are cheap, I have a zillion. And there’s some truth in that. But it’s not a rule. There are no rules. If you don’t have them now, and you want to write then, you have to do something about that.
So we’ll leave inspiration and writing when not inspired for now and move onto…
2. IDEAS
Can you write without ideas?
Yes you can. Illogical captain? Nope. It’a white page - fill it with something. Doesn’t matter. That’s what imagination is for. Right now you may think yours is rubbish but, if you’ve read a book in your life, I can tell you it isn’t.
It’s called “pantsing”. Though strictly, pantsing at the very least starts with something but it doesn’t have to. If you want to open a new project in your writing app of choice (or an email if you’re standing in a queue), and write about a woman who crashes her ship on a far distant planet, and decide that she’s being chased and has to run from her ship and hide, except they catch her and she has to fight one of them, grab his gun and kill the others, because she’s a ninja, but she needs… then go for it.
Of course you’ll run out of steam, read it back and say - OMG, that is terrible, I’m not a writer, I’ll never be a writer.
Except writing a terrible first paragraph, page, chapter, book - is normal. It’s one of the rules. You’re supposed to. And you’re supposed to rewrite it and then put it in a drawer and forget it until you’re fifteenth published novel - then you’ll rediscover it and realise it was gold dust, you just - weren’t - very - good - yet!
Then you’ll find things change for you. You wrote a paragraph, chapter, story, book, and you’re overwhelmed. Great. It’s a good thing to know that you accomplished this, but that isn’t what changed.
The thing you wrote is still inside you. You can’t see it, but your characters are thinking all the time and they want to do things. As you walk to the shops, you see a man cleaning a window and you think - what happens if he falls off, I wonder if he has his phone, would anyone notice. When you overhear someone at the bus stop saying - of course it’s the kids I feel sorry for… every little thing you read, watch, listen to, encounter, slowly starts to feed that pantsing brain. You don’t even know you’re doing it, but you have changed forever.
And it gets worse.
Or maybe you do realise it and you want to tell someone because you’re so excited? My advice is not to bother. That’s one of the rules. They aren’t interested and they will depress you. Except there are no rules.
Which brings me to:
3. SUPPORT
Sorry but 99.9% of people you know or you meet will put your off writing. It is their duty to stop you wasting your life and go learn how to tile roofs (rooves?) or something.
What can you do about it? You’re bursting to tell people. You love the endorphins you get every time you think about the awesome things you want to write and the fun you have writing them.
Well, I’m sorry - but you can’t.
Well, you can, but you’ll regret it.
For the rest of your life you are playing a psychological game with yourself and everyone you know. You could write the next Harry Potter and someone somewhere will think you’re rubbish and wasting your time. The negativity you will get from other people will just confirm what you already know - you’ll never write anything good so why bother. You’re a fraud. You don’t deserve good things and everyone is right about you.
Rubbish.
None of those people know what they’re talking about.
I’ll tell you who does know what they’re talking about - #WritingCommunity on Twitter.
I don’t want to encourage this because it will lead you to part 4 - Procrastination, but they really do know what they’re talking about. And they will support you. They’ll also give you great links that you can learn from.
Same on Facebook - get a writing account and find other writers. You’ll learn all the rules that don’t exist. Except they do.
And you will procrastinate.
But all those other people - friends, family, colleagues, people at bus stops - they don’t know anything about writing. EVEN if what they say is true - they still don’t and what they say doesn’t matter.
For example:
- 99 % of everyone writing today makes no money at it - true.
- 99 % of the 1% who do make money don’t make a living wage - true.
- 99% of the the 1% who do make a living wage, only make that for a couple of years of their life - true - I think.
Actually I made these up - because I don’t care.
Here’s some of mine.
- 99% of people who play golf today make no money at it. Actually it’s more than that. And they spent more money on their clubs than you did on Scrivener. Your laptop doesn’t count because you were going to buy that anyway.
- 99% of the 1% who do make money playing golf - don't exist - because nobody makes money playing golf. 10 people in the world make money playing golf.
So why the heck do people play golf?
I have no idea?
Maybe they enjoy it?
They once putted form 35 yards or hit a hole in one and they’ll spend the rest of their life trying to do it again - because it felt so damn good.
Well, so does writing.
It could be worse, you could enjoy fishing!
4. PROCRASTINATION
So, you’ve written your first paragraph and you’re officially a writer. You’re too exhausted now to write any more, so you go on Twitter to get some support from the #WritingCommunity. Suddenly it’s midnight and you’ll only get six hours sleep. Your next chance to write is the next evening, but you’re too tired because you stayed up late on Twitter. So you go on Twitter promising to have an early night. Suddenly it’s midnight and…
Mmm Hmm. Obvs.
But it’s true.
Cleaning the entire house is better than writing - isn’t it - nope.
But to the professional procrastinator, painting a fence is better.
Even writing a blog no-one will read about writing is better!
Except it’s not. You know it, I know it, so why aren’t you writing?
One of about a zillion “reasons” probably.
There’s no point in listing them all because, you’re a professional, and if I wrote them all and told you how none of them were reasons, you’d find others. I can’t win on this one.
Or can I?
Part of the psychological warfare you are now involved in, is learning the ability to write without thinking about it.
At any given time, if you have a moment to write, you’ll use it to go on your phone. You just will. While the internet is brilliant and you can learn all the rules that don’t exist AND get amazing support from #WritingCommunity, it’s also the biggest drain on time ever.
Even if you’re currently 10 years old, if you go on your phone, you’ll find you’re 65 in a moment and have achieved nothing - except 365,000 tweets and half a million likes. Put that one your gravestone - 35 Twitter friends liked some of your tweets.
How!? How can I stop going on my phone.
Well, you’re on your own there - because I don’t know. I spend 90% of the time I should be writing on my phone - why are you asking me? I should be on it now except I’m writing some rules apparently.
Dammit.
I can tell you some other things.
They won’t help, probably, but we’ll see won’t we.
You’re aim is to be in your writing app of choice - writing. Isn't it?
So why is it on your laptop, ipad, whatever, shutdown and in a different room?
Why aren’t you in that room and why isn’t it switched on?
How did your phone get in your hand and that game appear.
Why is the TV on and that awesome show…
Because you did all those things.
Yeah - it was you. Sorry, I’ve rained on your parade.
Therefore, your first aim is not to switch those things on, or open those games or twitter. Don’t do it. It’s naughty. Promise yourself anything and don’t do it. If somebody else did it - that's another blog. A very important blog. Really.
You’re allowed to go on Twitter or whatever, if you have written 1000 words. Or spent one hour writing. Or not until 10 pm.
Whatever, but if you have a routine at all - like coming home from work and putting a microwave meal in for you and you wife, kids, dog, then switch on your laptop and open your writing app instead, or first, and then go make dinner.
Leave your laptop beside you and pick it up after dinner.
- But I can’t write after dinner / in front of the TV / in the same room as… / with all that noise / when I’m not inspired.
OK.
But you also know you can solve these things. SOMETHING will work for you.
Look at youtube, I believe there is a video of Roald Dahl’s writing routine.
He had a little shed. He got his flask, wrapped himself in a scarf, and trapped himself in a chair with a table and could not escape until he had written some words. He did not think about anything else he just did it. Even if everything screamed at him - nooo, don’t do it, it hurts.
Routine.
What works.
FInd it.
5. IT HURTS
It’s supposed to. You’re physically taking a part of yourself and putting it on paper. That is surgery. Surgery hurts. Writers don’t even get an anasthetic. We are amazing people. That’s something else your friends, family etc don’t understand.
But it leads to procrastination because you remember that pain and will do ANYTHING to get out of it.
But your memory is wrong. And you have to correct it every second of every day.
Like cycling - what? Yeah!
It’s not the nicest of days, you’re tired, you can’t be bothered going into the shed to dust off your bike, you’ll probably have to pump your tyres up and…
Stop thinking about it and get on your bike. By the time you’re 4 miles down the cycle path, you'll have to cycle all the way home and you’ve doubled your exercise. You feel fantastic, what a view, your legs love you. Why on Earth did you not want to get on your bike?
Writing is the same. One thousand words in and you can’t wait to get on facebook and twitter to tell everyone how awesome you are (though you mustn’t, unless you can disguise it as something else). Your endorphins are flowing and writing is the best thing ever.
So why on Earth did you not want to write?
SUMMARY PART 1
See what I did, I called it part 1 and wrote the word summary. That way I can end this and stop procrastinating. Maybe I practice what I preach this time. Maybe.
And it’s a blog so I’ll re-write it sometime and call it writing and I promise to make it better and fill it with inspiration.
Oh yeah, I’d better summarise.
Emm:
- Learn to write anywhere.
- Learn to write anytime.
- Don’t talk to anyone about writing.
- Fool yourself into writing.
- Read if you can’t write
- Don’t go on Twitter until you have written
- Start observing and listening to everything and then write about them. Well, not about them, but you know…
- Win the psychological war and know there are solutions for everything.
- Learn all the rules that don’t exist, as soon as possible, so you can get on.
- Go for a cycle.
Was that it?
Write something.